Bay-Watch something else…

Oh man, did this film suck. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go into it expecting for it to be a good movie – but there is a difference between a bad movie and a movie that sucks. A bad movie is usually pretty enjoyable because it is so dumb and lets you have fun, a movie that sucks is just well, terrible all round.

baywatch movie poster

This film even made out in the trailers and posters that it was just plain crazy – giving the impression it wasn’t going to take itself seriously and embrace what it was. Unfortunately, that didn’t really come across. It felt like it was either being too serious or trying too hard to be funny. It seemed like for big chunks of the film it was trying to be a comedy, but the jokes just weren’t landing. The theme of the jokes became repetitive, and despite 3 or 4 chuckles, it really didn’t work for me. A particular High School Musical reference was just too cringey to have thought it was a good idea to include it.

I think the lack of humour was a combination of just poor jokes, and also to the fact the chemistry between the leads just wasn’t there. I’m usually a massive fan of The Rock (even though he’s in Hollywood now, he’ll always be The Rock to me!), he just didn’t seem to click with Efron, who I am not really a fan of anyway. I enjoyed the scenes with The Rock when these two weren’t together, but when they were, it just felt forced and stale.

There are quite a few characters in this, but there a few who are presented as key characters that always seem to fall into the background, and one in particular, the supposed second in command of Baywatch, whose name I can’t even remember. At times the film tries to add some depth to a few of the characters, but it felt like an afterthought, didn’t add much, and is all in all pretty forgettable. I did enjoy Hannibal Burress’s small amount of screen time, as he was funny every time he was on, and showed it was possible to nail comic timing in this film.

When the film was meant to be at what I would say it’s craziest – it did have all the ingredients, but it still didn’t seem to work. Diving into a fire in the middle of the ocean seems like you’d be going – “WOAH, what the hell was that” – but for some reason, it just felt flat. I’ve seen The Rock do stuff like in other films, (see my Fast and Furious post) and it was awesome, but this just did not hit the spot. Also, how many movies am I going to have to watch that include a fight scene with The Rock before they give me a Rockbottom or a People’s Elbow? Come on Rocky, I thought you were the people’s champion, give the people what they want!

As you’d expect, one thing this film is not short of delivering on is a stunning cast. Sure the acting wasn’t on point, but to look at – first class. One thing I did learn from this movie is that although not seemingly massively practical,  zippers on swimsuits seem to be a winner. Unfortunately, a beautiful cast does not do enough to save this movie or even come close to making this one you should go and see.

I haven’t seen Baywatch the TV show, so I don’t know if old fans of the show will get more out of this, but anyhow I don’t really have too much else to say on this one. It was just a sucky movie. Which is disappointing because I thought I was going to have a lot of fun watching it. And I don’t like giving The Rock a bad review, because, come on, it’s The Rock – he’s awesome.

I wouldn’t recommend you go see this one, do yourself a favour and go (Bay)watch something else.

2/10

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